Mysteries of the Universe Revealed

(for comedic value)

1. STEM Cells is a sex thing.
Why are people so opposed to a thing that would save millions or more lives in the future? Because it was about killing real babies.

2. She fucking hates me.

3. God hates fags.
His Non-Existent Grace probably shouldn’t, but truth is what it is. If God didn’t HATE Faggots (like me), then making love wouldn’t be painful.

4. Humans are self-destructive.
Having failed to defeat climate change, they celebrated their final moments in ecstatic love as the seas drowned their species to extinction.

5. For christmas my baby bought it. So I got into electro-shock therapeee (it’s funnier if you can hear the melody)

(as I write this it would seem “Shania Twang” has taken the recording studio and is working on her new hit “Killing Your Boyfriend With These Lies”. i am no longer fond of humans, that is true..)

6. Believe it or not, Simba would not tolerate giant ghost humans stomping around in the pridelands as if they owned the place.

7. The arabic system of numbers describes hell.

8. humans have got to go.

9. he stole time, he could create a literal filing cabinet he would be able to sift thru. It’s too bad that god is dead and no one cares.

10. :<

11. there used to be a species called “you man”, haha… the best thing is MOST of them didn’t know (this joke*) it was about them. (is that it’s never the best thing and almost always near the worst thing. She’s still going to fucking hate me, and it kills their babies. its not the only planet, however.)

12. Simba loves you.

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